Conscious Chicagoans rejoice.  The too-good-to-be-true hybrid powered, tax advantaged, snow-bank climbing luxury vehicle will be hitting the streets next week.

Coming this month, the Limited Edition “Earth Month” Hummer takes to the streets with a hybrid powered drivetrain, while retaining its signature massive 16-inch ground clearance for getting over Chicago’s biggest winter obstacles.  

“This is the ‘Gentle Giant’ America has been waiting for,” said one Chicago-based industry analyst.  “It’s the vehicle we needed to bridge our political differences.”

Renewable powered hybrid
While the rooftop solar panel and the grill-mounted dual wind turbines may cause a gapers delay, they aren’t just for show.  Hummer engineers, determined to blaze new trails in efficiency, developed these renewable energy generators to add even more juice than that provided by the brake friction.

Big tax advantages
Plus, the “Earth Month” Hummer is the first vehicle to both weigh in excess of 6000 lbs as well as feature a hybrid drivetrain – the government provides separate tax breaks for both features, enabling new owners of this vehicle to potentially “double-dip.”  While the drive train is a hybrid, government officials have yet to weigh in on whether the improvement from the standard Hummer 10 mpg to the “Earth Month” version 16mpg will qualify.

Just the beginning?
Just announced, The Transportation Department and the Environmental Protection Agency have mandated 2016 models must meet a 35.5mpg standard.  Will the Hummer keep up with this new pace?

“People may scoff at 16mpg, but that’s a 60% improvement that I have yet to see any other manufacturer match,” said a Hummer representative.  “We are gunning for the new standard like everyone else, and we’ll figure out a way to get there.”

Or the end?
“Well the Hummer actually discontinued in June of last year,” noted another industry expert. “So my hunch is that this is not a ‘new beginning,’ but rather the end of A Fresh Squeeze’s April Fool’s Day joke.” ;-)